Home	Photo Gallery	Heraldry	Newsletters
Stephens History	World Trade Center	Hide History	Joke of the month
Bill Stephens	Soccer	Published	Thought of the Month
Brent Stephens	Links	Effective Management Training	Book

I in the meantime tracked down a mesothelioma groups of "survivors" who were an endless source of encouragement, in particular Jill Vaughn, a 4 year survivor in Houston, Texas. Most of the survivors were "sent home to die" but it soon emerged that their attitude to the disease and the superior medical treatment in the United States were the key. Dad, it turned out, was on the most successful drug combination and the initial results were encouraging. The second round, however, his reaction to the one drug was so severe, that they discontinued it. This perhaps was the mistake, one of the few survivors in the group that had gone into "remission" had the same drugs, but when there was a reaction, they admitted him to hospital and gave smaller doses over 2 days. The last visit to the oncologist, they recommended radium treatment for pain - but "the machine was broken" so dad did not get it. Anyway, late October I got the call "the oncologist says 'come'" - so I literally dropped everything and went to South Africa. Ashley Proctor came to the fore and offered a ticket from his frequent flier miles, and I gratefully accepted, flying via London (still easier than Chicago then London!) and spending the day there, changing airports, and another overnight to Johannesburg.

Met at the airport by the ever faithful Tony Sonemann with Sue and Elizabeth, and Wayne Macfarlane. On to PE where I sat for an hour before venturing back inside, finding the absent minded Prof. Nic sitting waiting for my plane to land. Arrived back in Port Alfred to a very thin dad. He had scars all over his face where he had fallen onto a brick edge leaning over to pull a leaf off the back of his beach buggy. Once more I was privileged to spend some quality time with him, as there were many lucid moments, and some hilarious ones. He never lost his sense of humor throughout this period. Because of his falling episodes, mom and I banned him from moving without ringing a bell to call one of us. His left lung was completely seized up by now, his right lung was battling and obviously he was trying to cough up fluid. The only movement breathing wise was the top right side of his chest - NOT the way the diaphragm normally works. The morphine taken orally every 4 hours kept the pain threshold low, but had it's own negative effect on the respiratory system. So hard to helplessly stand by and watch someone suffer lie that. Linda's friend Celia, a specialist physician, between them kept working out as he had respiratory infection after respiratory infection. he got them easily, and the anti-biotics had almost immediate effect. However, in his usual stubborn way, he decided to start eating solid food again and to pick up strength - to the point where he could walk around unaided again. The big debate became whether I should change my flight back or not as he had rallied so. The difficult part of the trip was that - possibly due to the effects of the chemo - he now was back in "denial" and insisted he was improving, and wanted the local GP to just give him a "quick fix" so he could get back to playing bowls.

When I studied my Masters Degree, it was on whether one should retire to Port Alfred or not - given that you had to travel 2 hours to the closest hospital, there was no geriatric care etc. But what the research missed was the people. I have seldom seen such a caring community - with all the visitors and help he received it was like Tuxedo Junction - or as an editor of the local newspaper remarked "dad gave to the community in many ways, so he is just reaping where he has sown!" Most notable were the two "angels" dad was adopted by, Helen Landsdell and Dot Parsons. They used to work together at Damant Lodge before Helen retired and then joined the Hospice Association. They made a point of calling in every day and either sitting with dad a bit or seeing to mom if she needed a bit of cheering up. As Dot usually came straight from work she was usually in her nursing sisters outfit, and once dad called out so mom that "There is someone to see you, wearing the same old clothes again!" He saw her birthday present laid out and remembered when he saw her to sing the whole of "Happy Birthday" to her when next he saw her - which she says she will never forget.

A pleasant surprise was a visit from Beth Ward with daughter Georgina and son Kingsley. Her husband, their father George had passed away earlier in the year. He was one of my business mentors, having been the Managing Director of Peugeot when they were still in South Africa. He had semi-retired to the Morgan's Bay area on a farm he had bought - sight unseen - in a pub, and then decided to move down there. He built a beautiful home, was busy digging the pool, when the news of Georgina arrived. Needless to say he filled in the pool hole! George's advice was invaluable and I turned to him many times through my business career. Another good man lost! Having last seen Georgina as a toddler, and Kingsley in nappies (diapers) it was great to see them grown and successful students and in sports. We discussed "labolla" for Georgina but Beth was not buying... Small world that it is, Georgina and Vicky are in the same standard (grade) at school and in the same drama class (do girls have to learn drama? Just kidding!) Although, thinking about it, they have a "Screech and Trauma Dept." at Rhodes with lots of female students (or was it "Speech and Drama"?)

While I was there I took a quick trip through to East London and my old school, Hudson Park and saw some old friends, Mandy Perks and Sandra Bode. Sandra was doing her practical teacher training and had me as a student and the reports she has on my behavior, I have to tell you are fabricated. I would never be that outspoken as I am sure my old headmaster Mr. Eric Cragg can confirm. Oh, alright, I admit, I did tell him his fortune in Std. 9 (11th grade) - but I have changed. Really! I am far less outspoken! Ask Mandy - who knows me from Trinity Methodist days. The new principal of the school turned out to be from Port Alfred, knew dad and I had played tennis with him at dad's club. Small world! The school was in good shape, still had that great view (yes, that is the sea in the background), and I saw the trophies I had donated in the trophy cabinet. I then saw Rene Hayne, David Melvill, Peter Sansom and Alan Largue with Ilona and Craig Fouche. I popped in on Kevin Potter and then headed over to Paul Reeves- last seen about 20 years ago and spent the night there.

Back in Port Alfred, the decision was made to finally head back, Kevin + Gwen Bode (seen here in an older photo with Sam Sansom and Doreen Luyt - took me through to Port Elizabeth. It was very hard to leave, dad was still talking getting better, I played along and my last words were "See you in February", and I will never forget him standing at the gate with mom. I am sure he knew deep down that it was the last time we would see each other. Very tough to leave but I had done all I could while I was there and business back home was screaming for attention. In PE I saw the Bode's son (also Trinity days) Leon Petrie and old Rhodes friend Andrew Baker . Leon - a director with LTA construction passed on the news of how slow business was (one high-rise building going up in PE) and how they were venturing into Africa for business and finding the corruption blatant and rife - the "kick-backs" are even a line item "DASH" on the proposal forms. Andrew had expanded from his golf driving range to buy into a venture called "Option Golf" selling customized golf clubs at affordable prices.

In Johannesburg, my cousin Greg Hide met me at the airport, and we had a good time re-establishing contact, were joined by Wayne Macfarlane, and later Tony who made me promise to spend a night with them next time through. The surprise was the rest of the Hide family, Barry, Louise, Cathy, Andrew and Debbie and kids all making it to see me, so the Spur restaurant should have paid me commission at the end of it! It was good seeing them all, made the leaving of dad easier to bear. Got home to head straight to San Antonio for a soccer tournament that William's team was entered in, stayed with Larry Hardy's mother in New Braunfels and the break with the family away from home proved very therapeutic.