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I had upgraded my phone to receive email, as we were planning our first ski trip (ever) with Larry and Vicki Hardy and were due to leave on Dec 15th. December 14th I called in the morning (my time) and spoke to mom. She told me that much as she had wanted to nurse him at home to the end, she and Linda were exhausted so she had agreed to let Damant Lodge, the local old age nursing home, take over his care. I reassured her it was OK. Mom felt he was still going to linger for a while and that we should go skiing anyway, they would email if there was any change in his condition. Shortly thereafter, Helen called in, spent a few moments, and left. At 8PM that night, she "had a feeling" that the time was near and came back. She then felt it was literally hours to go, and so decided to stay. She gave mom a sleeping tablet, made up a bed next to dad and she and the night nurse kept an eye on dad. Helen reported that right up to the end he was still in charge - she would sneak up and try to slip the oxygen on, but he would signal her away with a flick of his finger! At midnight she called mom, as she felt it was soon, but he rallied, so she sent mom back to bed and woke her and Linda at 2PM to say she was sure it was time. Mom laid her head next to him and at 2:10PM he passed away peacefully. Mom says she will never ever forget watching her partner of 45 years take his last breath. Helen said - typical dad again - she thought he would go in 2 hours, and he goes in his own good time - 6 hours later!

Linda called me, left a message at the house and emailed my phone. I was at William's soccer match where, having come second in their division, they were challenging to "play up" in the higher division. So, it seems dad got to see William play on his select soccer team after all! William's last words to his grandad, an accomplished soccer player were "Thanks for the soccer skills!" I got the email - hard to make out, called the house and got the sad news. The team had their end of season party after the game and Vicki Hardy was there, so knew we would not be going skiing, but we waited until after the game to tell the boys - who were still too young (8 and 10) to feel the full impact of the loss. A parent loaned me an international calling card so I was able to call and speak to Linda and get the news that mom's prayer had been answered and he had passed away at home in her arms.

Ashley + Lynn Proctor once more came out tops, arranging a flight for me again, and even upgrading me to business to make the trip as comfortable as possible. We celebrated Christmas early with the boys (yes, they "hated" getting some of their presents early...) and the next day I was back on a plane. Had to buy a first class ticket to get on the plane from Johannesburg to Port Elizabeth - a whole $30 more. It was still very sad, and it was fortuitous to meet up with Malcolm Hide, my cousin (mom's eldest brother Roy's youngest son who I last saw about 30 years previously) and spend the day in the country with him and his family. At the airport I saw Andre "Toby" Terblanche, last seen in East London about 20 years ago. It was good to swop stories, he had been to Dallas (not knowing I lived there) and was now aware that there is "life in other countries - without the mixed up politics and high crime!" With the jet lag I fell asleep soon after take-off from Johannesburg, and mom picked me out for missing the first-class meal! By then after travelling for 2 days, it was the last thing I was concerned about! Arriving in Port Elizabeth I was met by Linda, Vicky and mom, and we popped in to see Paul life-saving at Kenton (voted one of the best beaches in South Africa). I will never forget walking into the house and not having dad there. He had taken early retirement (in hindsight divine intervention) and after a brief try at farming in Grahamstown, had found this house in Port Alfred - even bought it without mom seeing it - and they had spent their happiest time here, so he is very much a part of the house.

While we prepared for the memorial service, I was kept busy cleaning out his cupboard, sorting through his clothes and then sorting through the garage. It is sobering to be able to sort through a 68 year old man's life in 4 hours and a reminder of how important relationships are above material possessions. The garage took a day, and the neighbor and I loaded the buggy for 3 trips to the dump to get rid of the "junk" one accumulates. While not seeming the nostalgic type, I did find dad had kept Linda and my first school suitcases, my first piece of weaving (Sub A - First Grade?) and a few other momento's. The service which was on Thursday the 22nd is covered under his tribute, so I will not go in to that again here.

It was great to see the family members who took the time to come to the service, Barry, Louise and Cathy came down from Johannesburg, Ottie + Winnie, dad's only surviving sister, Denise and her brother who I had not seen in 30+ years, Molly Harrison, Peter, Lynda and Jean Sansom, Ken and Lois Tennant, Maureen and Colleen Castle - all from the Trinity Methodist days in East London. In the afternoon Linda, Nic and I went over to the Bowls Club where we donated the singing salmon I had sent but dad never really saw, and they re-enacted the ceremony where dad's number is officially retired to the "gone but not forgotten" membership board at tea time. In the evening a few people came over to have a small party, his bowls friends, Ronnie Barlow whom he had shared an office for 20 odd years, seen here with Errol Parsons, Kevin + Gwen Bode. On Friday Vicky decided to try surfing... Yes, she IS standing on something! With her wind surfing experience she did rather well.

The Saturday Linda and mom went through to Grahamstown, and I went to look up Danny and Hannah Velthuysen who we last saw in Stellenbosch in 1998. They were staying in a cottage on the beach in Riet River, about 10 miles outside Port Alfred. They joined me in a nostalgic trip to Hamburg where we found Rob and Barbara Hayne(on the left) at their holiday home - here are some great views of the river and mouth and had a pleasant time with them before a visit to the beach (2nd view left toward river mouth), a drink at Hamburg Hotel with the awesome 20 foot tall and therefore hundreds of years old cycad growing in the front porch. Hamburg has remained unspoilt and where eles can you drive on a dirt road where the cows have the right of way? Back to Riet River where the waves were the best I can remember in a while, and we had a great swim. As Danny and Hannah's kids were en route from Stellenbosch I joined them for a "braai" (barbecue) when they all arrived - a more perfect setting would be hard to find, and Danny remains his usual deep self with plenty of wisdom to offer.

Vicky had been tasked with making as good of a Christmas out of things as possible, and she did a great job, she and dad chose a nice tree and dragged it all the way to the car and brought it the car and drove it down (40 miles) only to discover it was too big for the house - AND the patio, so they had to saw a piece off to fit in the corner of the patio. We went to a nearby hotel, which had a honky tonk trio playing some oldies from the 60' and the 70's on Christmas day and we all gained a few pounds. We were painfully aware of dad's absence. The first of many such moments... Called and wished my family as well, hard to be away from them but Dee had done a good job and Santa had been, leaving bits of beard and all sorts on his way out. The magic of Christmas survived another year...

Linda and mom took me back to Port Elizabeth and we popped in and saw the new Casino they are building on the beachfront. Sadly it is all foreign capital, so it leaves the country and contributes less than it could to the economy. Casinos used to be only allowed in the "homelands" like the "reservations" but with the new government they are legal. The economic report shows that the amount of money spent on food is declining, while gambling and cell phones are way up! We did not go in, just shopped at the surrounding shops, had a nice tea before heading to the airport. In Johannes burg was met by Tony Sonemann to spent the night in Johannesburg as promised, and he had contacted Rick and Carol Garner, Wayne Macfarlane, and Derick Lotz who all made it over for one of Tony's cooking efforts. The next day Tony took me past the new casino in Sandton, apparently they sent 100 or so "artists" overseas for training on how to paint bricks to make them look old, and when their job was done, apparently it created a whole new industry and their skills were in demand. I also spent some time with the Clemo's who have my favorite non-identical twin cousins (born same day 5 years apart) - cousin Barbara (the mom) seen here with Michelle and then with me. It was good to catch up with Darryl and Anne Weisz in the afternoon and Nikki Fouche made it over with new beau Chris, before I left for the airport and the trip back.

It was great to be back with the family again, and a friend kindly arranged a hotel in Tyler - about 2 hours away, so I took the boys for a few days of quality time - which ended up being rather interesting as 2 inches of snow fell on New Years Night!

Here's to 2001 - it is going to be a great year!